Services

The Problem:

If you’ve had a difficult breakup, you might contact me because you are having trouble coping with your loss. You might be crying a great deal, losing sleep, eating too much or not enough, and you may be feeling distracted, depressed and unmotivated. If you have a history of depression, an incident such as this can be particularly distressing. Getting to work on time, and focusing on tasks can seem nearly impossible, and your self-esteem may plummet. You may even report feeling “unlovable”, and blame yourself for how things turned out.

The Counselling Process:

Addressing your pain and helping you heal will be the main goals of therapy. We will also try to resolve any negative thoughts you are having about yourself. I will work with you to help you to rediscover your inner strengths and worth as a lovable person who deserves to be happy in a relationship. We may look at what you can learn from this relationship, so that you can forgive yourself for mistakes you may have made. We can also address any feelings of unworthiness and affirm your strengths. Finally, if you are ready, we may look at what kind of relationship you want for your future and discuss how you can create it.

Outcomes You Might Expect:

Ideal outcomes of therapy for you are to heal some of your grief and pain, to develop confidence, to grow, and to feel more like yourself again, so that you can function better in your life and feel stronger and more whole. Hopefully you will have a clear picture of the kind of relationship you want in your future.

The Problem:

Many people function well as introverts, but it can be a problem if it causes isolation and distress. You might be someone who prefers to be in the background, yet you have to give presentations at work. The stress due to having to perform might cause panic attacks prior to presenting. If you have to interact with colleagues a lot at work, you may find it challenging to fit in and converse with them. You may also have problems in social situations outside of work, which may lead to even more isolation, because you avoid social invitations. You don’t want to be alone all the time, but it is too stressful to be with others.

The Counselling Process:

In therapy, we would address your fears, examine how rational they are, and possibly explore their underlying causes. I may ask you to carry your fears to the extreme and ask you to think of the worst possible scenario that you can imagine. Doing this shows that your worst fears are not usually as bad as you think. It can also help you to know that you can actually find a solution to combat your worst fears, in the unlikely event that you are faced with them. This knowledge helps to decreases anxiety and distress. I may also help you to develop breathing and relaxation skills that you can use when you are feeling anxious, so that you can calm yourself. Practicing your presentations in a session, or with an audience of trusted friends or family members is another strategy I might suggest.

Outcomes You Might Expect:

As time goes on, the small gains you make can propel you forward and help you manage your anxiety. Changing how you think about your fears can help reduce them and help you feel much more relaxed on a daily basis. Ideal outcomes include feeling more confident and secure in yourself, feeling more comfortable presenting and engaging in conversations with others at work and in other social situations.

The Problem:

As a parent, you might contact me and explain about your teenager’s fights at school, moodiness, stealing, and/or angry outbursts. You may have tried talking to your child, or giving consequences for his behaviour, without success.

The First Counselling Session:

I would speak to you, as the parent(s), to ensure that I had each parent’s perspective and written consent to work with your adolescent child. We would discuss the specific behaviors you are having difficulty with, your concerns and fears, as well as what you want for your child and your family.

During the first counselling session, I would explain the consent process to your teen and you, as parent(s). All of you would be invited to ask questions, express concerns, discuss any hesitations you have about entering therapy, as well as the goals you want to achieve in counselling.

Teenagers may be reluctant to come to counselling for various reasons. They may feel that it is unnecessary, and they may not engage right away with the therapist. I would make an effort to show interest in your teen and his goals to increase engagement.

The Counselling Process:

A teen in this situation would likely benefit from individual counselling sessions, as well as a limited number of goal-directed sessions with one or both parents.

I may use conversation, art or other therapeutic games to encourage your teen to share his or her feelings. He might be angry at you, as parents, due to your separation and any conflict that may exist between the two of you. He may also be frustrated because of the transitions he has to make between homes, and feel he has no control over his life. Whatever his concerns are, we will deal with them directly.

Some of your teen’s concerns might need to be negotiated with you; others may be problems that he has to come to terms with and accept. At any rate, communication with you as parents is essential. I will make every effort to help you give your son a voice and then invite you to respond by listening, being supportive, and possibly making some adjustments to his situation to ease the transition for him.

Outcomes You Might Expect:

Ideal outcomes would include your teen resolving some of his anger and hurt and coming to accept the fact that he cannot change the fact that his parents are separated.

As parents, therapy could help you understand your child’s concerns and behaviors better. Perhaps you could make some changes in your communication with him, and/or negotiate with him on aspects of the separation that are bothering him.

Once your son comes to accept the separation and feels assured of your love for him as parents, the problems of aggression should subside.